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The Importance of Premarital Counselling for a Harmonious Marriage

Published December 25, 2023
7 months ago

Marriage is a significant milestone that heralds a new chapter in the lives of two individuals. Before taking this life-changing step, a growing number of engaged couples are now considering premarital counselling as a crucial part of their preparation for matrimony.

In South Africa, where diverse cultures come together, understanding and managing expectations is both a challenge and a necessity. Relationship expert Paula Quinsee, alongside Pastor Xolani Mthembu and his wife Pelisa, brought to light the benefits and implications of premarital counselling in a recent podcast. Their insights unveil the potential impact of counselling on the long-term health of a marriage.

Pastor Mthembu, drawing from his own experience in guiding couples, points out that individuals often carry distinct, deep-rooted beliefs into their marriages—beliefs formed by the familial environments they grew up in. These differing beliefs can often manifest as unspoken expectations, which can lead to conflict when they are not met by their partner. Premarital counselling serves as a platform for couples to openly discuss these expectations, reducing the likelihood of surprises and misunderstandings post-wedding.

Paula Quinsee likens the role of a premarital counsellor to that of an athletic coach. In the realms of personal blind spots—part of human nature—a professional can offer an unbiased perspective that encourages self-awareness and growth both as individuals and as a unit. Quinsee suggests that the strength of a marriage lies not just in the love shared between partners but also in their ability to be present and supportive of each other.

The preparation for a joined future is not complete without the tools for effective communication and conflict resolution. Our panel of experts concurs that premarital counselling imparts these essential skills, which climatically strengthens the bond between prospective spouses. These skills enable couples to navigate the complexities of married life with a collaborative and compassionate approach.

As with any journey, knowing what lies ahead can provide immense comfort and stability. For couples about to embark on the adventure of marriage, premarital counselling offers a map to better understand the terrain of partnership, shared responsibilities, and mutual support.

To gain further insight into this comprehensive counsel, viewers are encouraged to listen to the full episode on managing marriage expectations with premarital counselling, available through Drum Daily.

This topic is a vital one for soon-to-be-married couples, for those interested in relationship dynamics, and for professionals who offer guidance in this important life transition.

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